From a practical point of view
The way for this process was going into the studio everyday and working with a physical need; accepting rather than directing, recognizing rather than criticizing, building and intergrating knowledge/or hints of it, into a direction of expression. It started out in strain where there where days of pleasure where material just flows but I wouldn't know how I got there, or days where there was tiredness and nothing would seem fruitful. Keeping going to the studio and having an open discussion with the lab, started to knit a stronger relationship with my everyday process. It allowed me to discard the big D (who am I dancing for, is there a way it should be? Am I strong enough/ and not having been to a dance school I had a lot of insecurity regarding technique). It created breathing space in order to transist to the place that I want to be working from. Now I have found this place, its a shifting and changing place but it knows me. Who am I dancing for became a creative thought rather than a fear. And the idea or "really dance" was constantly redirecting me to this place.
Then came the question of material, each day bore so many. I left the documentation to a few writings, but mostly I left the documentation to be physical. I worked on what remained through my body, and not my mind. The development of the material I left if to the end knitting process of bringing the material together for the performance. Since there was no story board for the performance, and my showing was about showing aspects of my research and leaving the story to the public, I focused on learning and inscripting each movement material separately, and this is when layers come in...--there is the physical maps, the feelings created by each movement, the memory of each one and the translucency of each into webbed information of mind feeling body. My direction was to know each specific movement where it came from and how it is, tunning it to the same feeling each time by detecting very small details (eyes, breath, hidden rythym, mind thought while doing it) but at the same time leaving a freedom of mind into what this movement is--as we see something/do something our mind goes through many different associations -I kept this freedom as I felt that it
fed the material.
a constant idea throughout
Building a story an image of the small moments where we feel ourselves, and the fight to bring that into reality
of everyday life---how this fight enables the flight.
Fight the self
obey the self
enhance the self
channel the self
communicate the self
the self
compose the self
question the self
allow the self
immitate the self
find the self
know the self
go back to the self
arrange the self
make space for the self
inhibit the self
transform the self
the self is alive in its own entity
contradict the self
fear of not allowing the self
fear of not listening to the self
consequense of trust
consequense of fear
consequence of recording
pleasure of form transending
arrive to a place of truth where there are no questions
play with questions to communicate
question to get there question to move
pleasure of form transcending
on the idea of really dance
Imagine a string, now catch the string from both ends---one end is the idea of really dance go out there and give the most you can give which may translate into go into it as much as you can , where there is no space between you and what you do, you build it as you do it and you give it its rhythm and feeling through a process of birth and freedom of mind where your mind is like a pumpkin thrown into the water, as it falls it spins and floats. Where the body guides and the mind it at all places of the body remaining unlimited by closure of thought and at same time aware. This brings a truth that is known only by sensing. The other end of the rope is living in a way that supports this ability--the real dance(as I perceive it) had occurred to me but I could not dance in this way at any given time. I felt a need to go towards being able to "really dance" at any given time point regardless of my situation..and probably the way to do this differs from person to person. For me some aspects was to keep the idea of a flowing mind throughout my daily life, daily studio practice chi-gung exercises and running, as well as building a physical language, but most useful was breaking boundaries of what I already know in movement and testing.
sharing
The idea of real time performance active in my process. The performance is not a set piece where the performer is not seen as someone ideal, where the process from start to finish is an actual process where transformation of the performer takes place where limits are not hidden. I am interested in an openness with the public, mostly influenced by the clown; where the performance is a sharing of a world and the performer is the guide. To keep this aspects of real time performance I kept the order in which I show the material open, and was in communication with the lighting and spacing..Each material had its space and light. This is something that worked but I feel the next level is to work more on the transitions how not to be in-between while being in-between.
The choreography lab was very helpful as sharing and communicating moved me to the point of where it feels good to make works, an inspired place where there is this pleasure of form transcending It also gave me more maturity and ability to build and support my process. As a root I feel this is very necessary in today in making works and performing, as someone watches someone doing something they are inspired moved given time to open links that were not obvious, if I approach in a certain way, I possibly inspire to be approached in this certain way. As we create we show the way we see things and this is a responsibility to be taken , lightly, but to be taken. Finally, for me the process of working and performing is very closely related to who I am and how I am, to levels of my being and understanding. So this is a process of bringing me closer to my self, as a root, the tree may be as it needs.
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